#97 - Happy Valentines Day

Hello,

awesome people.

 I took a holiday sometime ago, to somewhere not far. Yes, I've been spending most of my time at my college, thus being unable to constantly update my blog. So I'm back this time to wish you all a

  Happy Valentines Day!

(Ain't this picture amazing? Yeah, I know that too!)

Alright, so this year was a rather boring for Valentines, probably since everyone went to different institutions and thus we have no one to celebrate with. I really miss those times when 47 clique will all bring something on V.day to exchange. I really cherish those times when we had fun, laughter and joy. Every special day of the year simply reminds me of all you guys. The 15 of us, who will always joke and play around at the back of the classroom. The 15, who always enjoy PE together and have our own mini class outings. As I visit Uss for Uponstage sessions, I'll always visit the block where our classroom was located at. 

Reminiscing the past, it feels too good. I'm really proud of all of you, even though we are now in different schools. Although this year we couldn't meet up to celebrate V.day, yet I hope that in the future, we would still have opportunity to do so. 

Life for me here is actually quite tough.

 To have none of you in the same school as me, and to be in a totally new environment. I know it's not your fault, yet the only one I could blame is myself. I'm still not feeling the warmth of the school yet, from the people. At the end of the day, after being friends with some of them for nearly a month, you'll have to be split up again and go to different classes. To be honest, I really hate such feelings, when you actually got used to something, yet you will soon have to adapt to a new change again. This really sucks and I've experienced too much of it. 

(I'm too tired to change anything now.) 

The people around me, although are those whom I can talk to, but they are still not the ones I'm willing to share my feelings about. I sound like a little lost kid here, but I hope that people will really feel for me. I never really was me in Njc. I'm now mean to so many people, because I'm afraid of them. I guess I'm still not ready to accept new friends now, or rather the friends around me now. Each time I glance across to other OGs, they are all so bonded, unlike us. We are always outcasting and outcasted. I always wanted to be in other OGs, as life in their OGs seems more interesting and fun. There are so many more people whom I want to meet and talk to. I really hope that I'll be in a class full of fun people, who study hard, but also play hard at the same time. I don't wish to be in any classes, full of selfish people. 

"Life in Jc can be fun, it's according to your choice."

Really? I feel that it's only true to a certain extend. People are constantly watching each and every single movement of yours, even if you want to do something, there is a limit. You'll have to consider how people view you, and how will their views affect you. I tend to over-think, but this is true. Simple things like mass dancing, I was only fine with it. I really wanted to let loose of myself just like clubbing, yet the people around me, I have no words to describe. I want to be friends with you guys, yet there is something stopping me from that. I guess we really have different lives, since I haven't found anyone with similar interests yet. Simple things like k-pop, hardly anyone bothers or knows about it. 

" The only limits on your life are those that you set yourself "

Yes I agree, yet again, you have to think of the others, which is limiting yourself. I wish that people around the world are less sensitive and more approachable. The world needs to stop making us give limits to ourselves, because that's the reason why we have a reason to everything. We do this because of a reason, but not that, also for a reason. The reason revolves around the people and you. That's how limits are set, and it's really hard to break through them.

I really miss my previous years, how I wish I could travel back in time.

Maybe in time, you'll change your mind,Now looking back I wish I could rewind.
A sentence in Insomnia. A wave of nostalgia swept me when I listened to this song. The past is really fun. I had no worries about my future, I could adapt to my new environment and most importantly, I have friends to open up to.
Everyday at Njc is like Deja Vu, and a nightmare that haunts you. I'm starting to Feel like insomnia ahh~. Yeah, so much to think about everyday. I really want to lead a carefree life, doing the things I like.Whatever it is now, I need to suck it up and bear with this for 2 more years before I have a slight taste of freedom. 
Bye :/