#100 - Reminiscing, simply awesome.

It's 2am again! Yeah, I'm back home.

A good 5 hr catchup with my 'siblings' again. 

It's the weekend again.

Tutorials just kept piling up and they turn my mind off.

Feels so good to go out and relax a little, just before life gets too busy. 

It felt so good to be enjoying dinner with people whom you are close to, talking to them about your new life, and then maintaining contact at the same time.

Bringing up so much about those good old times, and predicting the unpredictable future, reminiscing the past, a hobby of everyone. A great dinner at PastaMania and then headed to release our stress at the Arcade. 

Too bad, there ain't basketball. Yet, the other games were fun, thanks Shireen for treating us $80 at the Arcade (:

Sorry for making you spend a bomb! 

Haha. Yeah, after 'donating' to the arcade, headed to the Coffeeshop nearby. It'd long since I sat in a coffeeshop, like maybe a year? 

I don't know, neither can I remember how long it was.

The food @ 302 is not bad, and that explains our long waiting time, just for an available table.

Shared a fried food platter, consisting of many weird stuff. My treat (:

Thanks Yuhui, for treating us beverages by the way (:

It's so awesome to just go for dinner, then supper. I really miss the period of time after 'O's, where we could  stay out late at night, buying supper and slacking at void decks till 1-2am. Today brought me back so much, to the time, when I probably felt the greatest sense of happiness. 

To be carefree, having no worries over anything, simply the best time in life.

Now looking back I wish I could rewind. Sounds familiar? 

Haha. 

I feel like going back to the past so much, when motivation seems to overwhelm me all the time. Unlike now, studying seems to be way easier in the past. You get motivation easily from the friends around you. Right now, I can hardly feel any of these. 

I really want a blissful life in High School, and I look forward to make it possible. 

Anyway, just to share with you guys a great news. 

I'm currently in 12SH12, what an easy to remember number. 12-12

Well, I can say that I really love this class, even though it's not as much as how I love my clique of 15 people. I guess I'll just have to adapt more, appreciate more and request for less.

2 years, a time just nice for us to be bonded.

After all, everyone has something that resemble my clique friends.

I should just accept more and expect less.

Expectation leads to Disappointment. 

So expect less, disappoint less.

Yeah by the way, I think this statement of mine sounds cool (I-don't-know-why).

You are the artist of your life.

You decide you future.

So tell yourself,

"Procrastinating is just like dieting. It can always start tomorrow."

Cheers (:

#99 - Don't Mess With Me (Part 2)

Finally back from Og Outing! (:

Today was simply,

AWESOME!

Yeah, we headed for a pool session, and then we had a last minute dinner together with those who stayed. What can I say? I feel more and more close to my Og mates each day.

Okay, put that aside for now. As promised, part 2. Actually, I don't have much feel now to talk about it. It doesn't really matter to me now, for the fact that I'm a much happier and less sensitive person now.

Whatever it is now, I don't care. I think this doesn't really matters much to me more.

"Its sad that one has to put on a false persona in order to fit in... just pathetic.. why dun be a clown then? be yourself! why pretend? i am disgusted by you"

Why should I really care about it now?

I've learnt to love my life more, 

with such awesome Ogmates as well as classmates. I think nothing really matters as much to me now. I really want to enjoy my life in Nj. After all, 2 years can be fast and fun.. 

Yeah, so anyway, back to today!

Today was really an awesome day with 22, having lunch at Mac opposite of Scgs, then heading to Mambo to play pool. It'd been a week since we had our Og outing, and actually that ain't very long. 

Haha, yet to me, it feels long. I'm so used to hanging out with my OG every Friday afternoon till night.

Love the fun and sharing time, as well as our dinner time. So, today, we headed to Bukit Timah Food Centre!

A wave of nostalgia really swept me, the last time since I had hawker food was like years ago! 

I really miss eating in a hawker centre, drinking a mug of sugar cane drink, then enjoying the ambience.

(Even though it wasn't very nice:/)

Yet, I just love how the hawker centre in Bukit Timah is like. Simply relaxing and eating with your friends, what more could you ask for. Today was rather good and I look forward to more of such 'todays'. 

Oh yeah, a picture for last Friday's Og Outing to Bowling! (:

Today's Awesome Road Run (:

Yeah, lastly, an Og Shot of those who went to Pool today :/

(Sorry, that the pictures are not large, since it's not really super clear (: )

I was on form today (: 

Teamed with Elvin and we pocketed 6 within 2 turns. 

Alright, shall keep this short.

 Really tired, bye yeom (:

#98 - Don't Mess With Me

I'm back, at this weird timing.

 Yeah, it's currently 1am and  I have school tomorrow. Shall do a short post, and then a follow up after this, part 2!

Haven't everyone hear this before?

In life, you must feel fortunate enough that you have certain things but not others. 

You need to stop being jealous of others having something which you don't have.

Just because someone else is surrounded by a pool of friends, that doesn't give you the authority to criticise the person. 

Well, jealousy, I think you're defeated by it.

Things started out small, and yet you complicate things. Even the smallest things like requests can create so much trouble. You're a guy, you should learn to be less sensitive about things. 

[I know you read my blog (: Thanks for increasing my hits.]

Okay, back to topic. Whatever it is, I seriously have no idea what you are trying to do. 

First, you sent me requests. I apologise, I'm really sorry, since I have more than 15 facebook requests that I've yet to accept. 

Yes, you must be wondering why. Apparently, I only accept people at times, and although I may or may not know the person, I'll still try my best to get connected. I'm very sorry that I didn't accept it, but it was without any bad intention. 

 Everything was fine, till this very fateful day, you started to send me requests like nobody's business, sending and cancelling many times, almost amounting to infinity. I couldn't really remember how many times it was, just too many. Then you sent me a super long message to explain about some things which I'm unaware of. 

Firstly, I did not shun you. 

I'm just trying to adapt to the new environment in Njc, when I don't talk to you, it doesn't mean I'm shunning you. It's more of like you need someone to talk to in school, yet I seem to not be doing that. Fine, I need to find people who I'm comfortable to talk to right?

Secondly, you did not make me angry. I don't know what's wrong with this whole theory about you being afraid to speak to me because you thought I was angry at you. O-o? Angry, for what?

I'm just trying to mix around with people of different backgrounds, and that's why I have less chance to speak to you. Yeah, and when you're closer to somebody else, I'm sure you'll spend more time talking to the closer person right :/ When I don't talk to someone, it doesn't mean I'm angry with that person. 

Thirdly, you went on to talk about being a guy, you know you shouldn't be so long winded. Yes, you are a guy. This message was super long winded, and I don't feel comfortable receiving it since it's from someone I don't really know, and of the same gender as me. I mean like, only girls do that, so why bother when I didn't accept the request? If you truly want to know me, then talk to me, not waiting for me to initiate a topic. I'm a taurus and I don't like starting a conversation, that's it, I'm ignorant. FYI.

Fourthly, you said I seemed to be accepting requests of people in my OG who I don't even talk to. 

Hey, let's make this clear. I accepted every request from my OG on the day when majority sent me a request. It just so happened that I did not to accept your request. People whom I don't know well, really? How well do you know me? I've talked to most of them.

They are currently my closer, FRIENDS. So you don't have the right to be judgemental, assuming that I'm someone who chooses friends. I mean I do, but in general sense, I don't. Get this straight.

Then you went on to say about your sincerity in being my friend, etcetera etcetera. Please, facebook is just a social networking portal where people make friends with either people they know, or don't know. It doesn't necessarily means that I'm not sincere in wanting to be your friend just because I happened not to accept your request. Do you know that actually true friends do not maintain their relationship through such networks? They do it by talking to one another from day to day, sharing about things to maintain their friendship. This is friendship, facebook is just a useless portal. It doesn't affect your friendship or connection with another person. Just because of this, I feel so pissed :x

Now comes the main thing. This is the main reason why I don't talk to you. I don't know you very well and vice versa. I was very shocked to receive this message. You made me feel like a bad ass, being so judgemental as if I have a criterion set when choosing who to talk to. You simply make me feel bad. That's why I don't know you well, I don't talk to you, and since you stop sending requests, that's why I didn't have any request from you to accept. I'm not those initiative person by the way. It's like when you're better with other people, of course you'll talk more to them, that's why I'm always with other people. You can't possibly expect me to be going around to everyone being their friend right. I'm not that kind of person you know, and humans have their limits. By sending such messages, I feel so offended by it and thus I'm avoiding awkward eye contacts or anything. I think it is very ridiculous to be bitching about me, when you are the one who created the whole issue. You over think, that's what I can say. 

To be honest, I think sometimes you need to put yourselves in others' shoes. You can't possibly expect people to act in the way you want them to. When people act in the way you want them to, then that's what I call a fake personality. 

(With link to the next post)

You need to think in others' position, whether they will feel offended or hurt by what you say. I know it's not easy. I know I've been a little rude to not talk to you, yet I'm actually pretty traumatised from such responses. I know you will be like feeling pissed about this post, but whatever it is, I wasn't fully the one who started this thing. You must be pissed at how I shared about these things to my friends, well I'm sorry. When you have certain things bottled up, I'm sure you need a pair of good listening ears. Even though I've expressed that they are not the ones who I'm willing to share my feelings with, rather contradicting, but now I think I'm comfortable with that. So please think before retaliating or replying. 

I shall end here for tonight, no point explaining too much about this. 

Sneaks for part 2:

 "Its sad .................................................i am disgusted by you".

Don't get me started, seriously.

#97 - Happy Valentines Day

Hello,

awesome people.

 I took a holiday sometime ago, to somewhere not far. Yes, I've been spending most of my time at my college, thus being unable to constantly update my blog. So I'm back this time to wish you all a

  Happy Valentines Day!

(Ain't this picture amazing? Yeah, I know that too!)

Alright, so this year was a rather boring for Valentines, probably since everyone went to different institutions and thus we have no one to celebrate with. I really miss those times when 47 clique will all bring something on V.day to exchange. I really cherish those times when we had fun, laughter and joy. Every special day of the year simply reminds me of all you guys. The 15 of us, who will always joke and play around at the back of the classroom. The 15, who always enjoy PE together and have our own mini class outings. As I visit Uss for Uponstage sessions, I'll always visit the block where our classroom was located at. 

Reminiscing the past, it feels too good. I'm really proud of all of you, even though we are now in different schools. Although this year we couldn't meet up to celebrate V.day, yet I hope that in the future, we would still have opportunity to do so. 

Life for me here is actually quite tough.

 To have none of you in the same school as me, and to be in a totally new environment. I know it's not your fault, yet the only one I could blame is myself. I'm still not feeling the warmth of the school yet, from the people. At the end of the day, after being friends with some of them for nearly a month, you'll have to be split up again and go to different classes. To be honest, I really hate such feelings, when you actually got used to something, yet you will soon have to adapt to a new change again. This really sucks and I've experienced too much of it. 

(I'm too tired to change anything now.) 

The people around me, although are those whom I can talk to, but they are still not the ones I'm willing to share my feelings about. I sound like a little lost kid here, but I hope that people will really feel for me. I never really was me in Njc. I'm now mean to so many people, because I'm afraid of them. I guess I'm still not ready to accept new friends now, or rather the friends around me now. Each time I glance across to other OGs, they are all so bonded, unlike us. We are always outcasting and outcasted. I always wanted to be in other OGs, as life in their OGs seems more interesting and fun. There are so many more people whom I want to meet and talk to. I really hope that I'll be in a class full of fun people, who study hard, but also play hard at the same time. I don't wish to be in any classes, full of selfish people. 

"Life in Jc can be fun, it's according to your choice."

Really? I feel that it's only true to a certain extend. People are constantly watching each and every single movement of yours, even if you want to do something, there is a limit. You'll have to consider how people view you, and how will their views affect you. I tend to over-think, but this is true. Simple things like mass dancing, I was only fine with it. I really wanted to let loose of myself just like clubbing, yet the people around me, I have no words to describe. I want to be friends with you guys, yet there is something stopping me from that. I guess we really have different lives, since I haven't found anyone with similar interests yet. Simple things like k-pop, hardly anyone bothers or knows about it. 

" The only limits on your life are those that you set yourself "

Yes I agree, yet again, you have to think of the others, which is limiting yourself. I wish that people around the world are less sensitive and more approachable. The world needs to stop making us give limits to ourselves, because that's the reason why we have a reason to everything. We do this because of a reason, but not that, also for a reason. The reason revolves around the people and you. That's how limits are set, and it's really hard to break through them.

I really miss my previous years, how I wish I could travel back in time.

Maybe in time, you'll change your mind,Now looking back I wish I could rewind.
A sentence in Insomnia. A wave of nostalgia swept me when I listened to this song. The past is really fun. I had no worries about my future, I could adapt to my new environment and most importantly, I have friends to open up to.
Everyday at Njc is like Deja Vu, and a nightmare that haunts you. I'm starting to Feel like insomnia ahh~. Yeah, so much to think about everyday. I really want to lead a carefree life, doing the things I like.Whatever it is now, I need to suck it up and bear with this for 2 more years before I have a slight taste of freedom. 
Bye :/

#96 - A Brand New Life

A brand new school, a brand new life. 

It's time for me to get ahead in life and start making new friends.

You must be wondering, what school was I posted to? 

National Junior College it is, my desired school. Just as I thought, I'm forever alone. The only student from USS, the lonely me. To be honest, I really dread going to school on Day One of Orientation. I don't like the feeling of adapting to a new environment and talking to strangers. I'm afraid that I can't cope in National Jc, since all of the students here are way smarter and better than me. I'll have to work twice as hard as them, even though we are all given the same 86,400s each day.

Today is day 4. 

So how was Day One like?

I feel so lucky, that HC is directly opposite of my school. If not, the journey to school will be so dull and boring as there wouldn't be anyone talking to me. Fortunately, Pam's going HC, so there's someone I can talk to. Got to school on the first day with her help, since I didn't even bother to find out how things work out at my school's area. Rather packed in 961, never will I want to take it again. The train is always a better option for now, unless there is a breakdown.

 (Phew!)

 Headed to school, and found no familiar faces. Okay, maybe just a few, like 3. 2 were from my primary school and 1 was my ex-tuition classmate. At least someone bothered to greet me with a hello! Pretty screwed and bored on the first day, since there were so many talks. My OG didn't have enough seats so I sat away from them, all alone by myself.

I was doing this the whole day.

 Feels better this way, since I face no awkwardness and no one will read my texts. 

(Yes, some people in my OG will look at me when I'm texting, gotta be safe.)

 I think I'm like one of those kids that's going to end up being blacklisted on the first day, since I was texting every minute, while everyone just paid attention to the speaker. Gosh, spare me, each human has an average of 12 minutes of concentration. Once the 12th minute passes, you'll feel really bored. You can try placing yourselves in my shoes, plus the fact that I didn't sleep well the day before due to the high level of anxiety.

My heart just keeps going 'Lub dub. Lub dub', faster and faster each time, right before I sleep. Tbh, I really felt like changing school or simply skip it on the first day, upon seeing my OGmates.

 (No offence, and yes, after 4 days, I've once again learnt the phrase - Do not judge a book by it's cover.)

Okay, something like that, but I'm not criticising, just doing a general scan through my OG. I really can't find a face to relate to, okay sorry, I'm bad with my words here.

OG 22, was my group and we belonged to a clan called THEIA. 

We are also known as Terra-rists I guess. 

What to say? The OGLS were pretty nice to us, and rather awesome? 

(I can't think of any other words, since this is the only word my OGL uses to describe herself.)

Day one was really boring, with talks and tour. I swear I almost wanted to leave the school and go enjoy myself in town. Thoughts away, we settled down to introduce ourselves. This is when awkward moments come in and you have to beg your memory not to fail you. The ladies in my OG looked pretty much the same, (On Day 1), so I had trouble recognising them. Whatever it is, I just don't feel right talking to people and yes, I'm really shy. *blushes* ^.^

(Forget my cuteness, it must have really been horrible. =__=)

Did some ice breakers and then there was lunch. Opened up to some of the people, yet still nothing much to talk about. It's either I'm being ignorant, or they just don't approach me because of their first impression of me.  First impressions are just so important, easily settled in 5s staring at a person. What was I viewed as? I really wanted to know.

I'm like the meanest person in my OGL as the days pass by, bullying my OGL, although I feel bad about it sometimes, but keeping it down. I'm really sorry, but I can't control my bad attitude. When it's released, it takes over me. I'm trying to change to be nicer each day, and to be less 'dao', (ignorant), to anyone. Yeah, and I failed to do so. I just got more annoying each day perhaps. I feel really bad about being unable to change myself. I was probably portrayed as the most 'Ah Beng' guy in my OG, and the one who probably knows the most vulgarities. Interesting, I've been keeping my cool.

 Profanity?

 None was heard, I vowed not to spill any of them since the first day of this year. My School's reputation is really important I guess? I was trying too hard being myself , not wanting to talk to any strangers. Yet, I think people see me as a person who tries to be cool and not really willing to participate or mix around with anyone. 

(I'm over-thinking by the way.)

I guess my reaction was the biggest and most hurtful one during mass dance, when I rejected some female partners. I can't do it, it's really awkward and I've experienced it once. I'm sure that you know this phrase,  

Once bitten, twice shy.

Yeah, I'm super shy. Tbh, I'm really someone who goes by the physical appearance and that's why I'm too harsh sometimes I guess. Yet, if I know you well, character and personality gains priority over appearance.

To be partnering an OGL, good and bad. Hmm, I have changed my partner, from Rachel to Neriah. I'm comfortable with them, but I don't know why it get's awkward with Neriah, maybe because she is older and she talks more to me? I'm really afraid though. Whereas for Rachel, being of the same age seems to clear a barrier for communication. Sorry for saying  the above, but I'll do my best to perform well.  

After all, you guys are really nice people (:

I really can't recall of what to write, since I'm too exhausted after each day, running around like mad. H-2-O was one of those games where I ran the most. Why do all the girls target me, making me run an extra mile? Just exaggerating a little. Maybe just a few more metres than others.

Super tired, with aches everywhere. I really need to go swim some day, if not my low stamina won't be able to get me anywhere far. Station games, although we lost 10/12 games, nevertheless, it was a great time for everyone to bond. I felt a little pissed off with myself being a fool during the advertisement station though, what a retard I am. Thoughts of it just haunts me, not enough.

Yes, I know most of you will be complaining, why is this post so long and there's hardly any pictures. I'm really sorry, but I'll try to find some pictures to make this post more lively. I'll show the OG photo once I get it! 

So back to today. Day 4.

We had an OG gathering, a mini one over at Sogurt. Although it was just that small group of us, yet it was still great. At least we were able to bond and learn more about one another. I'm really sorry, and to most of you out there, my first impressions of you have changed for the better. Please learn to accept and tolerate my nonsense and I too! I'll be a better person to be with for now, I PROMISE. Today was really a short, yet interesting day. Thank you for sharing your time with me, and I didn't regret going. Look forward to more of such gathering among the same or rather more compatible group of us. Probably at Island Creamery, or even at other places. It would have been better if you all could stay till the night, well I just want to thank you guys for the fun, love, laughter and time. Thankyou (:

Alright, till here (: Toodles!

 (Why am I saying toodles? I'm really mad now!)