#117 - Judgement Day.

2 hours into Judgement  Day. 

11 hours later, I'm either sitting down alone, feeling way down, or celebrating with my friends.

 This year has passed pretty fast. Looking back, there were many occasions where there was fun and joy, anger and frustrations. Well, I awaited for this day. The final day, which tells me whether I'm going to promote or retain. I would say I didn't really put in any effort for promotional examinations this time, at most 30%, thanks to my phone. I regretted so much after getting S3 since it made me distracted all day long. If my grades are bad, then this means that I'm gonna keep my S3 away from me. 

Really unsure if I'm going to retain or promote, just wishing that my CTs will really pull me up a lot. I promise to study hard if I can promote with 4H2, just like what my friends say too. Today will determine many things. Whether I can be an OGL next year, whether I can still be in same class as my classmates. Of course, other than myself, I'm also praying for my other friends who had not done well as well. I really wish that they can promote together with me, since they are my close friends in school, be it same class or not. 

Speaking of today, it's also the day for 'A' levels mother tongue. All the best to all my friends out there (:

Just praying hard right now, wishing that Law of Attraction will work! Let us all promote together with 4H2s and being the bottom three classes for us will be history next year! :)

Let's put those worries aside.

Anyway, we celebrated Kanchen's birthday yesterday. Although it was belated, it was hell awesome. Met at tampines for a walk before heading to Marina Bay Sands for some fun. Really treasure such moments together as a clique, even though not all of us were present. Well, I'm really glad that she liked her present! :)

Oh, 

and something scary sorta happened yesterday.

WARNING: Pedophile Alert at MBS!

Yeah, we met a pedophile yesterday on our way to Marina Bay Sands, and it was pretty thrilling to get chased I guess!

Okay so this was what happened....

We exited Marina Bay MRT and were waiting for the traffic light to change colour. Since the waiting time was so long, we decided to take some group pictures. This man in green happened to appear beside us, and he ain't normal I swear. He freaking stared at us and gave those pedo smile which would freak everyone out!   

Initially, we thought we were overthinking, but no!

As soon as we crossed the + junction, he started slowing down, almost walking side by side with us. So the 7 of us were still oblivious of him, since we thought he was probably just passing by. So these was how we were standing. Corny, Glennys and I were at the front, while Chunyi, Kanchen, Jazlyn and Lynn were at the back. I noticed that something wasn't right when the man started slowing down and walking beside us, so I called Glennys to shift left since Corny and I were walking along the left hand side of the pavement. The man then walked closer to us before heading off towards the construction site in front. He stopped in front, which we then thought maybe he was waiting for someone or whatsoever.

When Corny, Glennys and I walked past him, he was still pedo-smiling at us and we were kinda disgusted. Then, we noticed that something was freaking not right. Since we were ahead, we decided to stop and turn back to see the other four behind. As soon as they walked past that man, he turned and began following them form behind. The three of us immediately tensed up. Chunyi was quick and he knew something wasn't right too, so he dropped behind the three girls. As we approached the next junction, all of us shared about the man and we knew that he is weird. At that instant, we decided to run across the road since it the green man was flashed. We thought we could shake him off since he would be unable to cross in time.

NO. That did not happen. He ran after us as soon as we ran. The faster we ran, the faster he chased. We got so freaking scared that we headed towards the crowd, hoping that he would stop. Eventually, he did, but it was not after he followed us for quite some distance (even after we headed to the crowd). We guessed that he knew he couldn't do anything to us since we were amongst the crowd. After some time, he turned and headed off in another direction. Yeah, and that was one hell of a scary chase by a pedophile in Singapore, my first time!

Gosh, if you people see him, either run or kick him in the nuts! Haha. Anyway, after which, we had muffin session, freaking good! Yeah, and we headed off to town for Macs and some talking session before heading home! Guess it was a day well-spent, except for the pedophile part. 

I'm looking forward to our Halloween celebration on Wednsday! So please come faster! 

Alright, time to turn in. Nights!

MAY THE ODDS BE IN MY FAVOUR! 

#116 - You gotta get up and try, and try, and try.

Tell me why, you're so hard to forget.

Don't remind me, I'm not over it.

Tell me why, I can't seem to face the truth,

I'm just a little too not over you.

David Archuleta's songs on replay alongside with other old songs. Reminiscing the past, all these relaxing music, I really need them now. I wish time could just stop at this very moment, because right now, music is my best friend. Even though there isn't school everyday, but doing project work alone really drains all your energy. No kidding, it cause brain dead easily in a few hours. Music, the only thing to accompany me.

Actually, I really don't know what to do right now. Hiccups here and there for Project work, don't even know if we are editing the written report the right way. The desire for A is there, the willingness to work hard is there, yet is it enough? 

Many people tell me, it's easy to get an A. Yeah, only after you've gotten one and you can say that. Plus, the topic this year ain't easy. I'm getting insecure. I don't want to get a bad grade for PW. I'll only settle for A. I can totally imagine how much dismay I would be in if I failed to do well. This brings back the haunting of PSLE, and then questions will start filling me up. I've work hard to redeem myself from O levels, but was it right choice? Doing well, no harm, yet the workload now and the stress levels. Is it worth it? It will require me tonnes of courage to tell myself, I can do it and I can do it well enough. Where is that motivation? 

I gotta get up and try, and try, and try. How easy to say that. I've been met with obstacles after obstacles after obstacles. Yes, it's good to stand taller than the obstacles, but doesn't everyone have a point in time when the cycle gets so tiring and boring? What's the point of standing taller and being stronger when you will have to repeat the whole process over and over again? I don't know why. Maybe anyone who reads this post can give me my answer. I really want to know.

Where there is desire,
There is gonna be a flame.
Where there is a flame, 
Someone's bound to get burned.
But just because it burns,
Doesn't mean you're gonna die.

Yeah, that's more painful than death. 

You just have to try harder each time, but it might not be worth it. 

I'm so lost right now. I on't have a wall to lean on for support. I don't have a guided path or direction. 

Who will be there for me if I fail to reach my targets?

 Who will be there to lend a listening ear? 

Project work, just let me Ace you. I can't think of what to do now, and with no motivation, I can only tell myself to really do my best. I really want an A. So much effort put in, so much time spent on PW, please be worth it.

That aside, orientation 2013 is arriving. Orientation group leader application starts tomorrow. Should I take up the position? Many people wants me to be an OGL. Yet, deep inside, I know that I want to try, but I don't know if I'm ready for it. I know my results this time wouldn't be as good as before.

Right now, I'm just like a fish outta the water. 

I just want to attain at least a D for all subjects for overall marks.

I just want an A for PW.

I just want to have orientation right now and bring fun to people.

If the first two wants are fulfilled eventually, I promise to study hard and not slack away my year next year, to play well for Hockey 'A' divisions and U21, and be a better person. I PROMISE. 

Alright, time to just lay by the bed and drown all the sorrows in music.

I've got to, keep holding on, because you know I'll make it through, I'll make it through.

#115 - Light Up The Sky

Promotional exams are over. Like finally. 

Now, it's all back to normal school day. Perhaps.

Maybe no, thanks to project work. Not gonna talk about it since it creates a massive headache. 

Well, kinda sucks to be in NJ. We only had half a day of inter-house sports competition.

Terra won basketball though. 

Would have missed school that day anyway, if not for PW. Oh well. 

Days after promos are really boring. What I look forward to everyday is HOCKEY. Yea, just hockey and nothing more. Run 4km, training, gym session, team bonding activities. Now these is what I called awesome. I swear every hockey session in NJ is like the highlight of our school. Can't really think of other fun things, except for orientation maybe? Can't really say orientation was good, but it was at least better? I'm actually in a dilemma now, about whether I should apply for OGL. Really wondering. Yes no? 

I don't really know. At this stage, I don't even know how I'm gonna perform for promos since I know I've screwed up my strongest subject. Oh well, no point crying over spilled milk.

Anyway, I'm kinda glad that I managed to score a goal against NYP that day, regardless of my sloppy play. Even though I know that this could not be done with them letting off their guards, but nevertheless, I've really learn to like myself more. As in not being more self-obsessed, but less disliking of why I an't seem to find any usefulness in myself, since I'm a jack of all trades, master of none. Indeed, I am.

Anyway, my specs got knocked into two during PE recently. Don't know what to do about it. Can't break to parents, can't bring myself to pay that $250 too. What to do? This year has been full of spendings and no savings. I've withdrew so much from my bank, and this $250 would be another great blow/ What else can I do? I can't possibly demand $250 for whoever is responsible for this right? I mean, it would be quite mean to do such a thing, cause after all we are all classmates. What should I do? People tell me different things, but who to listen to?

Make him pay the full amount luh!

Make him pay at least half of it luh!

Bring a parang!

Ask your sister to pay for you?

These are all I hear all day long from different people. But I can't bring myself to do it, unless the person is willing to. But still, you understand me, its still kind of bad. Really wish something good would happen soon.