162 days, I know it has been long.
I decided to come back to this space, because there's just
too much to say, too much to care.
Wouldn't say that the first half of this year has been the best, but I guess it was after all an emotional and memory-worthy one. This year, is indeed an important one for me.
This year, I believe that I've grown so much, with the support from the people around me. They've watched me grow and I'm sure that I want to make them proud and of course, make myself proud too. First half of the year was one hell of a roller coaster ride I would say. I got thrown to my lowest from my peaks and then get dragged back upwards because many people believed that the bottom doesn't belong to me. I wouldn't fully agree to this, since you can only see where you stand after a fall.
Nevertheless, I still want to thank all these people who have been by my side and will most probably still be there, for the years to come.
Had A divisions for the first time in my entire life.
I swear it was indeed on of the best experiences that I ever had in my life.
You get to see how much harder everyone will work so as to move an inch closer to the goal. You get to understand the pain that people feel when they get defeated. You get to witness every euphoric moment. You get to observe your opponents and read their minds. You get to scrutinise experience players and learn from them.
Indeed, there's a lot to see. So you've got to observe everyone from a distance away, because the closer you are, the less you will see. I'm sure many will know where this maxim came from.
Yeah, that's right. It's from the recent movie, "Now You See Me".
I'm pretty sure that this maxim is a proverbial statement for many things in life.
Friendship. Team. Relationship. Kinship. Brotherhood.
Who disagrees?
I think it's never wise to stay too close to people because the closer you are to them, the less you will see, the more you will feel hurt. I wouldn't deny that this is a selfish statement, yet it's somehow true.
This year, I've observe myself from a distance as well. I have to admit it sucks to have drifting friendships. Some people may say it's inevitable, but I guess that after all, it depends on the parties involved.
While typing all these, everything started settling down in my mind. It may not be actually that bad to lose, because while you lose some, you gain some. I wouldn't exactly say I've lost something, but I've lost my possession over some things. The friendship between this group of people. It's kind of awkward to still stay together and talk because it is no longer the same as before. I admit I have some fault in this because I'm not trying hard neither have I tried hard enough to bring this group of people back. I really miss those times when we go out for picnic sessions at Marina Bay Sands, our Christmas party, our awesome dates at town after events.
I constantly remind myself, it's not gonna be easy, but it's gonna be worth it.
Yet, something beats me down all the time. The lack of response from these people. I've tried to take some actions but to no avail. I really guess that the friendship is either gonna stay stagnant at the moment, or the impending end will inch closer with each passing day.
I'm sad.
I find myself drifting apart with a few of others, from you all.
I really hope that things will get better.
This aside, like I said earlier, you lose some and you gain some. I subconsciously find myself growing way closer towards some of my teammates, a new group of people who I can put more trust into. As of now, I only have five names in my mind, the names of the people whom I trust. They share their problems with me, ask me for help, cheer me up when I'm low, motivate me to work harder, teach me how to overcome challenges, teach me new skills, learn things with me. I'm really fond of such friendships, because deep down inside, we trust each other and we know which boundaries not to cross.
It is such friendship that I've lost in some people, yet found in another group of people.
What a revolution.
Although this year I wouldn't say that my academics have improved greatly, under the help of these people, I feel myself moving closer to my goals each day. Well, if you're thinking about me being scheming and using such despicable methods to move towards my goal, then you're wrong. I chose to be with this people because we have similar goals, similar interests, and most importantly, we have mutual understanding, always assuring one another by a line from the mouth, I understand how you feel, just like how I always. Academics is just a tiny puzzle piece of this whole friendship.
These people whom I really treasure as of now, you know who you are.
G.K.D.J.Z.
I'm really thankful for you guys this year. Friends do change, but I know that you guys won't.
T.R.U.S.T
We have that, and I will always be there for you all, just like how you all have been there for me.
People like us, we gotta stick together.
Keep our heads up, cause we know nothing last forever.
:)
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