#111 - Roller Coaster Ride

"Even the best fall down sometimes, even the wrong words seem to rhyme",

"Good speed, that was the nicest shot so far",

"You did put in effort to study for it, but why such results?", 

"At some point in life, you are mature enough to the point where your words are convincing enough".

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All these words currently running through my mind. Yeah, even the best falls down some times. I may be the best in my parents' eyes, but there also times when I don't perform, enough. Gotten back two papers, pretty much okay. Rather unexpected for physics, I'm really satisfied and was actually discombobulated at the moment I got back my paper. What should I say, I'm really proud of myself and thankful to my friends for helping me improve by 5 grades. Even though this is just a common test, nevertheless an improvement deserves my happiness. Maths was rather disappointing though, being as careless as before, placing myself in jeopardy. I passed, but not up to what I've expected. 6 marks away from my target seems so small, but that means a jump of two grades. Well, not really affected by that. My mind just keeps telling me that I don't want to be "banned" from hockey even though everyone's going to stop training together. I mean like, even so, I just want to have a clean sheet with all Cs and above since it's my target. Maths was so close, 1 mark away. This means I must really work harder, and I mean it. I'm gonna work hard because I don't want to be rubbed in again. What my mum said, (read above), I really felt like a loser and failure. To have studied for it and yet fail to reach my goals. I promise I'll work hard not to disappoint you. 

And to my dad, I know you're joking but the seasons should come at the right time. I got this grade for physics because of my hard work and effort. I earned this grade myself. You supposed that I'll get a D and the rest of the 10+ marks are purely bonuses that my teachers gave. No, you're wrong. Please don't say such things because you never know how hurtful jokes can be.

Negative thoughts aside, even though everyone was under performing in school on Monday's training, well I guess, what coach said made my day. I managed to send a lifted sweep into the goal with praises from coach. Thank you coach, I promise to work even harder. I really want to play well for NJ hockey and work together with my team mates to enter top 6 next year. We will train hard. Meet your expectations of <10 min for 2.4km, be strong in our basics and etc. Really, I'm thankful and I want to play more hockey in the future. This passion that I wear never dies (:

Kinda slacked my weekends at home away instead of doing work. Gotta gradually keep that down, and spend more time we the crapping group and study hard (: Thanks for occupying my weekends recently, studying with me to make me work hard. Love you all <3

Anyway, to the sweet group of people, we are really sweet.

(random)

Yeah, even though I'm not gonna name any of them here, yet they are really my motivation for school each day. All those crap, nonsense, pick up lines, jokes, study sessions, I really treasure them. You see, being the only one from your school, coming to a foreign ground, you really need all these. 

Really tired out, drained physically and mentally. All those bullshit and misery, let's end it all soon. May the upcoming papers be in my favour, please show me good grades. Really hope so, and also to perform well in tomorrow's training and improve. Shall head off to do Econs project (:

Ending off with a smile (:

(P/s: Sorry for the big faces :/)